To Tie or to Be Tied? – A Question of Trust

A couple of years ago I would have said “To be tied!” without hesitation. But with life comes growth, and with growth come new curiosities and new views.

I have always been a control freak, always been on top of things and, to be honest, a day without a well-defined list of things to do is not a day worth living (that was a joke! 😉 ).

Being a control freak has its pros and cons. The obvious pros are that I seldom forget things, most of the time the work I perform is up to standard, and my home will never be out of obvious things like Toilet paper and Cornichons.

The cons are also obvious, but way harder to live with. The main thing is STRESS.

Stress is the constant salary a control freak can always count on. And even though some people say things like “there is good stress and bad stress”, “stress is a sign of responsibility”, etc., etc… stress is always a bad thing in my life.

With that said, I would like to go back to the subject.

Being tied was my go-to when it came to finding a 100% stress-free environment. Being gently tied down by someone you love and trust, someone who loves and respects you, can be one of the most amazing things for me.

To be able to let go completely and just float away in emotions, sensations and pure lust is, for me, equal to something that could be called heaven on earth.

To be touched and only have the option to embrace the touch. Not having the choice to move, just being gently forced to stay in the moment and feel even the smallest part of your skin react.

Being guided in pleasure, driven towards climax and not having to worry every moment about appearances, sounds, trying to be perfect and much more. Just a moment to be me, but not the controlling me.

Just the real me.

I have never been a fan of humiliation or senseless domination performed by people who only seek pleasure for themselves. I love the pure Dom: the man who takes the driver’s seat not only because he enjoys driving, but because he enjoys driving YOU and puts your destination as the main goal of the journey.

Once again, I feel like I am leaving the subject a bit. 😉

But hopefully now, dear reader, you understand why “To be tied!” was, and still is, a huge go-to for me.

So I guess it is now time to move over to the other end of this spectrum:

To tie!

I can say with 100% honesty that tying someone down on a bed, chair, table, etc., in order for me to feel some sort of arousal has never been a thing in my past. Just picturing myself doing such a thing was something I couldn’t even imagine.

But as you can probably guess from the title and the build-up in my text (trying to joke again), something has changed.

I have, on a few occasions, completely dominated my dear husband. He has given himself completely into my care, I have been in the driver’s seat, and I have enjoyed every moment of it. And I mean a lot of enjoyment.

It has nothing to do with pain, control or a desire to dominate another human being for the sake of domination. For me, it is about the incredible sensation of someone trusting you to such a degree that they put their entire self in your hands.

I have been trying to understand why this is something I discovered later in life, and I have no clear answer.

I know that part of it comes down to growth and maturity, and the increasing self-confidence you get when you have someone you can share your secrets with. Maybe it has been brewing inside me all my life. Maybe it is something new.

I don’t know.

BUT I do know that it is a side of myself that I want to explore more, and I want to find out more about who that part of me is.

And I would like to invite you, as my reader, on this journey.